Returning to Love
by only-real-men-sparkle
Summary: ON HOLD What would happen if Edward did return to Forks, to find Bella, What if she had moved on to Edwards mortal enemy...
1. The Descision

Edward's View

Edward's View-The Decision.

Only my mind was functioning as it should be. My body seemed to be frozen, I hadn't moved for at least a week, and I hadn't been hunting for approximately a month, I was a monster and highly dangerous. My brain kept contemplating whether to go back to her, my love, the only one that had ever meant anything to me at least.

I would only return for three days. She would be unaware of my presence. I would watch her.

"Ugh" I said disgusted with myself, I couldn't even think her name, "_Bella_" I whispered in a pathetic voice. It bought on a spasm of emotion that I didn't even know my kind could feel, I felt guilt and betrayal but not of my own betrayal but the betrayal that I must have caused her. I'd promised I would stay and I left. That reminded me of another promise I had made as I left her in the dark forests surrounding Forks. I'd promised her that she'd never have to see me again 'it will be as though I never existed'. I couldn't return or I would break another promise, but if she didn't know I was there then no harm would be done, all I was going to do was watch her, see whether she was happy or not, I would stay longer if she was unhappy, a week maybe, still not revealing my presence, maybe I would stay a few nights sitting in the rocking chair in her room and listen. It always humoured me the things she used to say in her sleep. More often than not it would be my name 'Edward' she would repeat again and again in her delicate smooth voice, I wondered if she still said my name, in a way I wished she didn't. Her human memory would let her heal better than my vampire one, at least I thought it would, she had a very private mind, and even I couldn't access it and read her thoughts as though she was talking to me out loud.

If she was happy, I would leave again, I would get on with my life as I hoped she had. If she was still upset after these five months then I would stay longer and watch until I decide what to do next.

I need to go hunting first; I thought as I caught a glimpse of my eyes, in a shard of mirror I had shattered in my rage, my eyes were as black as coal and empty. I should visit Carlisle and Esme and Alice as well, but Alice would already know by now. I was sure she had as much of her extra sense, that wasn't watching Jasper, clued to me she would tell Carlisle and Esme soon.


	2. What If

**Chapter 2 What if??**

**A/N I hoped you like the 1****st**** chapter thanks for my 3 reviews I love you all very much. **

**Carlisle's View.**

I was very surprised to see my 'son' standing in the doorway of my office. His eyes were as black as a storm cloud yet they seemed to lack the something they had the last time I saw him. I knew he had to be thinking something over otherwise he wouldn't have come to me, none of my children come to me unless they need help making a decision. I had no idea why but even Alice and Rosalie seemed more comfortable talking to me than Esme.

"Carlisle" he voice sounded still a velvety as before but it was quieter and less confident than before "Carlisle, can I talk to you about something?"

I didn't even have to say anything. He was sitting in the leather recliner in my office after a smooth graceful movement towards me; he knew I would say no, it was his power to know what others were thinking.

"About what?" I asked him although I had a strong feeling I knew already.

"Bella" I heard him let out a deep shy and he rested his head on his cold, broad chest.

"Go on" I knew I shouldn't push him but I wanted to know what he had to say.

"I keep wandering maybe, whether I should go back or not, I loved her, I still do, but I'm scared she" He paused "…I'm scared she won't love me anymore."

At that moment Alice my pixie like daughter, who happens to be able to see the future, burst through the door.

"Edward it'll all be fine, I'm sure of it. Come on you need to go hunting before you go and maybe we can go shopping and get Bella something nice, Please??"

"Alice" I growled "I would appreciate it if you didn't listen into our conversations." I said rather bitterly, I hardly ever spoke to my children in that way, but today she had particularly annoyed me. I got up and helped her towards the door a little.

"Edward, I'm sure what Alice said was true, I don't think Bella could ever stop loving you, and you really do need to go hunting." I tried to persuade him

"But" He paused again "But what if she doesn't" If Edward was able to cry he would be now, his head, which I could swear would go no lower, was buried in his chest. He was losing the ability to talk now, in fear of his voice breaking and he showing his sorrows to me.


	3. I Can Feel It

**A/N**

_**I know it has been ages since I updated…and seeing as I'm having extreme writers block and my computer has decided to collapse on me I decided I will update this story…I would love it if readers could review and tell me whether I should carry on writing this story or is it kinda not going anywhere…anyway THANKS AND SORRY for not updating**_

_**Ali xxx**_

**Returning to Love – I Can Feel It**

**Jasper POV**

I always liked hunting with Edward. He was compassionate when I felt weak. He wasn't like Emmett. Emmett thought everybody should understand everything and didn't see what was wrong when I felt weak. The problem with hunting with Edward is he can't control the emotions rolling off him, and right now that was too much for me to handle. He made me feel like the world was against me. That is the only time I don't like this life I was granted with. When nobody can control what they feel and it leaves me feeling horrible.

All I could feel from Edward was the waves of emotion he was feeling. Some I had not encountered in this life. Guilt was the strongest; then self hatred. I didn't quite know why he was feeling these things. The guilt and self hatred I understood. After I launched at Bella on her birthday I spent almost a month sitting alone feeling numb. I hated to hurt Carlisle, and I knew I was hurting Edward, and most of all Bella. I knew Edward had the ability to do some unfathomable things. I knew that would hurt Bella. I had grown to like Bella. I knew we would get along if Edward would let me get within 10 ft of her. I had grown quite close in the brief time we spent lodged together in the compact hotel room in Phoenix last summer.

_*_

"_Edward what's wrong?"_ I brought myself to ask through my mind.

"Nothing, that's the problem, I have no idea what to expect" He sighed loudly.

"I'm sure nothing will be wrong. Whilst you were away, I took the liberty of watching her for you. Alice too. We watched her when she slept. Alice panicked at first. Bella was always talking and Alice thought she would wake up. Alice said it was the one time she didn't trust her visions. But Bella missed you. I can feel it whenever I am near her" I answered out loud now. As soon as I told him I had watched Bella his face took an angry expression. I wish I had said nothing.

"You went in her room!" He shouted "I told you none of us are allowed near her. You were meant to stay away. To avoid hurting her anymore. Didn't you do enough damage earlier? Or were you just trying to hurt her more?!" He shouted back at me. After his anger the guilt instantly swamped his emotions. It was stronger than before. It made me hurt knowing I had caused this. If I could go back and change the past I would. I think nearly everyone would. I hated hurting my family so much. That was why I went to her. So I could make sure we didn't hurt anymore people. I thought I was being careful. All I did was cause more pain than I had before.

**A/N**

_**Thanks for reading…I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages. But my computer keeps dying on me…it's very annoying. Anyway…I love reviews…they make me happy… (Hint hint)**_

**-only-real-men-sparkle-**


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